Should one-night stands be forgiven?

One-night stands are not meant to be either forgotten or forgiven in a relationship. In such a scenario, there is no scope for argument or any kind of discussion. The erring partner should be left alone. If he indulges in something of the sort, then there is something missing in the relationship and hence, there’s no point carrying on with it.

Although forgiving may sound like a gesture full of love and compassion, but once the trust is gone, things can never be the same again.

And then, there is always this unknown fear that he might make the same mistake again and have a one-night stand. And every time your partner will step out alone, you would think, ‘What must he be doing right now? Who is he with?’ Such doubts may crush your relationship. And it might even become a burden for both the partners – with one constantly doubting the other and the other always trying either to prove himself innocent or trying to hide his wrong deeds. A crack in a glass can never be joined, the glass just has to be changed.


If my wife gets to read this, I’ll have a one-night stand – with me standing outside the house for nights together. But, jokes apart, it all depends on the situation and how well the spouse understands it. After all, to err is human.

People having one-nights stand is not an alien thing – it’s been happening from time immemorial and could even continue to happen. Often, people end up becoming victims of situations that are a result of the circumstances that build around you at a given point of time.

It’s like anger. You don’t have to be a hyper individual but sometimes, depending on the situation, you can get into a rage. Some people have been known to kill in a fit of rage. Likewise, our mind reacts to situations that could get out of control.

However, one should not pass a judgment on an individual who’s had a one-night stand. I’ve seen it happen with some friends – both men and women. Films generally show the husband having a one-night stand and the wife eventually forgiving him, not the other way round, but in real-life, I’ve seen the wronged partner – both male and female – forgive the erring spouse. After all, it depends on the relationship you share. And, of course, where there are children to consider.

I guess, once or perhaps even twice, it can be forgiven, but not if you have a habit of going around having one-night stands.

Does online dating end in failure?

Internet dating, which sparks such a rush of emotions between people even before they have met, often ends in disappointment and failure.

According to a new study, the initial spate of replies a person gets on net dating sites makes them seem very popular.

The kind of attention is a lot more “than if they had walked into a bar”, said Matthew Bambling of the Queensland University of Technology, who led the study,

“It gives a feeling of being powerful. The online environment doesn't have the conventions and context of a real life meeting and so online interactions can have a bigger impact on a person,” Bambling noted.

He said this lack of inhibition that online interactions allow means some people are carried away by their feelings and “don't use their heads as they would in normal social situations when meeting people”.

Bambling said he has seen people in counselling regarding the consequences of making emotional investments in people they had been emailing after meeting them on line.

“They often become quickly emotionally involved and invest in the other person before meeting. After meeting they move too fast because an emotional relationship actually started when they began interacting online before meeting, in which time they build up a fantasy view of the other person,” he said.

“When they do meet, often the other person is not always what they had imagined but if they are already emotionally invested they go out anyway. They can end up wasting a lot of time trying to make it work.”

Bambling said to avoid pitfalls in online dating people should arrange to meet up after the first few e-mails. This helps to avoid over-investing emotionally or building up a fantasy about the other person.

“The main thing to remember is to make real-life contact as soon as possible if you are interested in someone because it is here that you will know if a relationship is a possibility.”